Quotes - February 2010

02/28/10
"I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes."
- unknown

02/25/10
"I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone."
- unknown

02/24/10
"You are one in a million! That means that there are six people just like you in China."
- unknown

02/23/10
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
- unknown

02/22/10
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."
- Albert Einstein

02/21/10
"I can resist everything except temptation."
- Oscar Wilde

02/17/10
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."
- Sam Levenson

02/16/10
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
- Emo Philips

02/13/10
"If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."
- Quentin Crisp

02/12/10
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally."
- W. C. Fields

02/11/10
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before."
- Mae West

02/09/10
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
- Bill Cosby

02/08/10
"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried at all."
- Theodore Roosevelt

02/05/10
"A child of five would understand this! Someone go fetch a child of five."
- Groucho Marx

02/03/10
"Doing nothing is the most tiresome job in the world because you cannot rest."
- unknown